But If Denial WERE a River in Egypt, You'd Be Drowning in It.

I saw my MD today. Remember how I said that there were liver abnormalities, and I'd had those before so I wasn't worried?

Yeah.

These are more different liver abnormalities. These are the kinds that say, evidently, that my liver/body is very stressed and having to work really really really hard to do its job. (Well, at least it's still doing its job, right? It's not shutting down -- it's just working overtime so that it won't have to.)

But everything else is okay.

Except a few other bits about my labs that are not awesome: platelets -- low. Already knew that. And then there are a lot of values that are borderline too low. Like my white cell count and my calcium, the latter of which has been historically either high-normal or high (even when I'm healthy). So borderline low calcium is, for me, definitely a sign that something's up.

But everything else is okay.

Except my blood pressure. I think the doctor's words were "we're kind of toeing the line between you walking around and you needing to be in the hospital."

But everything else is okay.

Except my heart. Apparently it's "pounding."

But everything else...

Look, I feel like, if my doctor really thought I needed to be in the hospital, he'd say so. And also since I'm increasing my calories (albeit temporarily), these things should probably either improve or not get any worse over the next couple weeks.

I started taking an Omega-3 supplement. I include it as part of my daily caloric intake, but I still think it at least shows I care enough to try something new. I also went shopping today to buy people food. In addition to my "safe" menu of Fiber One, edamame, grapes, celery, apple slices, blueberries, and 110-cal protein drinks, I got nonfat yogurt, plain oatmeal, two kinds of 100-calorie packs, frozen diet meals, tofu, and the real kicker... high-protein Boost. (Upon re-reading: wait... how much of that actually sounded like "people food"?) I don't have much time to eat during the day, and I'm such a slow, gamey eater that I figured Boost would be a good way to get in more calories in less time. It's kind of hard to explain that you're late for class or rehearsal because you were stabbing at a Lean Cuisine with a fork, or putting away some Healthy Choice angel hair pasta one hair at a time. I also like the fact that Boost is pretty nutritionally balanced, so I know I'm getting what I need.

I'm 100 calories above safety level for me tomorrow. Wonder how bloated I'll feel. Or look. Or feel like I look.