Brief

I made an iota of progress in therapy yesterday.

It happened when I was talking about happy moments in my childhood with my mother and then paused, and added, "I just wish there had been more of those."

It was the first time I admitted to wanting or craving something specific (outside of my eating disorder), and in the pause, I had to fight with myself internally regarding whether or not to say it. I was mentally arguing that to say something like that would sound ungrateful, as I'd had many things to be thankful for during my childhood, or that it might sound whiny, or negative, or babyish. Finally, I just told myself "but it's true -- I do wish I'd had more happy memories with my mother growing up," and I said it.

"I just wish there had been more of those."

Therapeutic progress.

I just wish I could make more of it.