I'd expected as much, seeing as I spent the weekend preparing myself for the worst, so there was no crushing moment of truth when I looked at the callback list and didn't see my name.
You want to know something terrible?
I was happy.
I was happy when I saw that I hadn't gotten a callback. I felt officially released from recovery. For the past week all that's been keeping me marginally compliant has been the thought that I might get cast in "Cabaret." And now that I'm not... it's a relief. It feels so good to know I can slip into oblivion again. To lose any and all weight I gained over the past, what, a month? And then some. So today I began that journey. And it felt so good.
More details/inconsequential musings/painfully self-aware dissection of psychological motives/whining tomorrow. I'm going to try to sleep now.
No comments:
Post a Comment