Tonight I bumped up my new, lower calorie level up by 150 (back to last week's level) because I started shaking, got really dizzy and felt like I was going to faint. I probably would have just been okay with drinking a bit of water, but no, in my moment of panic I had to opt for calories (along with the water, which alone would likely have sufficed). Now I feel weak -- physically but more so in terms of my eating disorder. I just didn't want to have something happen with no one around. Nothing would have happened; worst case scenario I would have fainted and woken up in like 25 seconds. Heart rate was and is normal. It was probably simple dehydration or even just a panic attack. Damn it, now I'm mad at myself. Not only did I eat more than I wanted, I ate too late at night (per the eating disorder's rules).
And now I'm going to have a panic attack anyway because my amygdala is on red alert from physical stress as well as the psychological stress caused by the extra 150.
Bah.
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